Boys, Boys are looking for a good Time- Good luck!
by Cali
Summary: At age 16, Sirius Black must come to terms with his life, and trust me, if you're a teenage hormonball like him, that mission is doomed from the start...
1. Music To Watch Girls By

It was during one of those incredibly hot spring days that no one really could explain where came from, it all started.

A/N: I'm thinking of making this into a longer series, please tell me if I should do so. Also, I ask you to play a little game called 'spot the QAF-reference'.   
Small warning: One of the characters is bi. Deal with it. However, I promise, (almost) no slash scenes. At least not in this chapter  
Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter. Nayru owns herself. All QAF-references belongs to the makers of QAF.  
  
~~*~~  
**Chapter 1: Music To Watch Girls By**  
  
It was during one of those incredibly hot fall days that no one really could explain where came from, it all started. The Indian summer had taken over for the usually rainy weather, and it was welcomed like an old friend.  
The older female students of Hogwarts had shed their robes for ...lighter clothing, and almost every single one of them, including the queen of broken hearts, miss Lily Evans, had found themselves outside in the courtyard, trying to catch every single ray of sunlight that flooded Hogwarts. After all, the chance of getting a tan in the unpredictable English summer was small, so they had to seize the chance while it was upon them.  
  
And seeing as the Marauders were normal, sixteen year old boys (well, as normal as you could call three wizards and a werewolf), they had gone out into the courtyard to catch glimpses of 'some skin' as Otto Bagman so eloquently had phrased it.   
They had perched themselves on the great stone steps, which gave them a great view of not only the courtyard, but also the lake, where some tough seventh years were slowly descending into the water for a quick swim.  
This, of course, had caught the eye of Peter Pettigrew, who was following their movements with the eyes of a falcon, all-seeing.  
Next to him sat James Potter, who was shooting long looks after Lily Evans, whom he had been obsessing on and about for two years running. Of course, she never even dignified him a look, seeing as he was what she called a 'run-about, no-good scoundrel'. She was more likely to be seen with aristocratic seventh year prefects, such as Lucius Malfoy, than the likes of James. Of course, this made him obsess even more about her lovely stature and ladylike appearance.  
The two last boys present were Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.  
Sirius himself was reading a book about the creatures of the night, clad in what the American exchange students had defined as 'the dead-sexy biker outfit'.   
Remus had stretched out over several steps, and had his face was turned to the skies, his eyes closed. If anyone enjoyed the sun, it was him. After all, he really wasn't that fond of the moon.  
  
Sirius was about to make some remark about how he never knew that werewolf mated for life, when Peter asked the inevitable question.  
"If you could have one of them, any one of them, which one would you choose?"  
After shooting James a look, he added:   
"And Prongs, do answer something else than Lily, because that is getting SO old."  
James rolled his eyes.  
"Fine. I think... Rosalie. Rosalie Cotter."  
Peter whistled.  
"Not a bad choice. However, I think more in the lines of Narcissa Stone."  
"How 'bout you, Sirius?"  
"No use, he's already had them all."  
Sirius snorted.  
"Mae. I'd definitely have Mae."  
Peter raised his eyebrows.  
"All the way-Mae? Sirius, I would have thought you had better taste than that," remarked Remus dryly.  
Sirius turned and looked at him. The others followed suit.  
"Well, mister 'I'm-the-one-with-good-taste', who would you take?"  
Remus sat up, and peered at the people in the courtyard through half-closed eyes.  
  
"Stuart Jones," he finally answered. "He's got the next best arse in this entire school."  
Sirius thought in his quiet mind that he really didn't want to know who had the best.  
Peter shot Remus an odd look.  
"Rem... we were talking about the girls."  
Remus shrugged.  
"All right. Nayru Ikari, then. But really, I'd rather have Stuart."  
As he leaned back again, he added: "Or both of them at once. Take a pick."  
Peter made a face.  
"Sometimes, I think you're doing this 'both sexes'-thing just to gross us out."  
Remus snorted, and Sirius imagined that if his eyes were not closed, he would have rolled them.  
"Yes, Peter. Of course I'm doing this just to repulse you. Just like I'm a vegetarian only so that the three of you can have more meat."  
What followed was several moments of silence, until Remus spoke up again.  
"I'm a werewolf, I can't afford being picky. Besides, I think I'm onto something. Look at you three, for example."  
His friends looked at each other, almost as if expecting the others having tentacles sticking out of their ears.  
"Us?"  
Remus nodded.  
"Yes. Being heterosexual, you limit yourself to only half of Hogwarts. While I," he paused and his face lit up with a mock-smirk, "can choose from the entire school."  
"No, you can't," said Peter.  
"Oh really?"  
Sirius sat up.  
"It's true. You see, Moony dearest, that at least 200 of the students at Hogwarts are 11- and 12-year olds."  
Peter nodded.  
"And that's just really, REALLY wrong."  
"Yeah," piped James, "like having sex with something that isn't even human!"  
Remus sat up, and edged closer to the blackhaired boy. Putting an arm around his shoulders, he batted his eyes at him.   
"Why, thank you James. You make me feel so loved."  
James blushed furiously, and muttered something about 'not meaning it that way'. Obviously, Peter found this hilarious, seeing as he by now almost had fallen down the stairs by laughing so hard.  
Then Remus laughed, and James quickly followed.  
The only one who wasn't finding it all hilarious, was Sirius. He was furious with Remus for putting himself down like that. However, no more time was left to brood over this, seeing as at that moment, the dinner bell rang.  
  
- - -  
  
"You shouldn't do that," said Sirius as they made their way up to the Great Hall.  
James and Peter, who were both hungry as wolves ('girlwatching is counted as a sport, right?' -quote Peter Pettigrew) were hurrying, making Sirius and Remus fall behind.  
"Do what?" said Remus nonchalantly.  
"Degrading yourself. Just because you act funny once a month, doesn't make you less human. After all, look at all the girls we know. They all turn into wild beasts once a month, but do we run around yelling 'monster'?"  
"No," said Remus. "We run around yelling PMS."  
Sirius frowned.   
"You know, Moony, if you don't stop being so funny, I might as well get a hernia here and now."  
He rounded on his friend, blocking his way. As Remus tried to walk past him, he grabbed his arm, holding him still. The corridor was almost empty now.  
"You can joke about this all you want, Remus Lupin, but it will never be funny."  
"Let go of me, Sirius," he said through gritted teeth. "I'm fine."  
"No. You're the one that has been bragging that you take whatever has a pulse. Then why do I never see you with anyone?"  
Remus narrowed his eyes.  
"Maybe because of the same reasons I never see you with anyone more than once?"  
And with that, he rushed past Sirius, and into the Great Hall.


	2. Walk like a Man

They didn't speak to each other at dinner.

A/N: First, a small note: The last version I posted of chapter one was the wrong one. No big deal, really, the only difference is that it stated that Lily was a 7th year. That was wrong, please ignore it.  
Anyway- WOHOO! The second chapter is here! Looks like I'm ready to commit to a series.  
Small warning: One of them is bi. Deal with it. No slash-scenes.  
Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter.   
  
~~*~~  
**Chapter 2: Walk like a Man**  
  
They didn't speak to each other at dinner.  
Sirius had (demonstratively) sat down with Peter, and the two of them were having their own, private food fight. Even though Remus was sitting right across him, it was like the two of them were air for each other. Or at least, Remus was doing his best to ignore Sirius.  
He was sitting with James, who was babbling non-stop about quidditch, which Sirius knew undoubtedly bored the young werewolf out of his mind. Even though he was from a fullblooded family, Remus had never shown any interest for the sport. His mind was obviously wandering, judging from the faraway look in his eyes.  
Another sure sign, was also the fact that he managed to stick the sausage planted on his fork, into his eye.  
Sirius smiled.  
"Nice going, Rem."  
Remus just glared back.  
"Oh, come on, don't be mad. Am I really that bad?"  
Before Remus could answer, a drawling voice cut in.  
"Bad in what, Black? Bed?"  
Sirius didn't even have to turn around to know who it was.  
Severus Snape.  
  
Severus Snape was the perhaps cruelest person on the earth.  
He was in the same year as Sirius, James, Remus and Peter, but was a Slytherin.   
He had taken the old Gryffindor-Slytherin rivalry to a new level, and had made it his personal vendetta to terrorise every last Gryffindor. Sirius had vague idea that it had something with the fact that the Marauders had detonated an enchanted whopee-cushion just as he had sat down at the sorting stool when they were sorted in their first year. Of course, no one could never be sure.  
Snape continued his taunting.  
  
"Why, never knew you had it in you, Gryffindor. Of course, everyone knows about Lupin, he just screams 'poof', but you?"  
Sirius bit his lip hard.  
_It's just Snape, don't bother._  
"So, Black. Do a little kissy for us, then. Or is it trouble in paradise? What happened, Lupin, did you find someone else? I can certainly understand you, seeing that Black is ugly as hell on a bad day."

He twiddled his thumbs, chewing on his tongue. In his quiet mind, he thought that if there was someone who out not to talk about being ugly, it was Snape.  
"Not that you're a beauty yourself, Lupin. I'd say, no wonder Black hid his crush for you by dating so many girls. I certainly-"  
_This is it.  
_Sirius turned, and-  
"SHUT UP!"  
Only seconds after his little explotion, Sirius realised he was not the only one who'd had one.  
He slowly turned, and his eyes met Remus', who blushed a lovely shade of crimson.  
"What is it, Black, can't handle the truth?"  
Sirius stood up abrubtly.  
"No, I can't Snape. You're right, I'm not even a bit heterosexual. All the girls I've dated- it's all a hoax, because in reality, I am as gay as they come. I really want every boy in this hall, and one especially."  
Seeing the horrified look at Snape's face, Sirius smirked.  
"Yes, Severus, you. So, what do you say, shall we try to work it out?" he said as he gave the other boy a sly grin, raising one eyebrow.   
Snape just stared at him, before doing what Sirius mother would classify as *running for the 'ills*. Except, in this case, there were no hills available. Snape however, seemed to find the front hall worthy substitutes.  
Sirius sat down grinning, positively pleased with himself.  
Another day, another way to embarras Snape. Mission accomplished.  
While most of his friends were laughing, he could feel the shocked gazes of some third-year girls upon him.  
He turned, and shot them his most wicked grin. They blushed and turned away.  
However, they were not the only ones who disapproved of his actions, because before he could say a word, the head of Slytherin, professor Okey, swooped down on him with a detentionslip in her hand.  
Not that Sirius bothered.  
"You think you're so funny, don't you?" said Remus quietly when the table once more was filled with noice.  
Sirius looked at him, and tilted his head, as if he was saying that maybe he did, maybe he did not.  
"Arse," muttered Remus quietly.  
Then he smiled.   
"Thank you."  
"You're welcome."  
And then, all was back to normal in the Marauder-camp.  
  
After dinner, James and Sirius made their way back to the common room. Remus had gone to the library to finish a Transfiguration essay, and Peter had followed him, in desperate hope of getting to copy it.  
"So," said James as they walked up the marble stairs, "you ARE coming to the Quidditch match this Sunday, right?"  
Sirius snorted.  
"Of course I am. What did you think, Jamesie-boy?"  
The other boy shrugged.  
"Sorry, I seem to have misplaced my mind."  
"Well, if you look inside Lily Evans' bra, I'm sure you will find it."  
James just laughed, but only seconds after, he lunged at Sirius.  
Soon, the two of them were engaged in some very heavy wrestling.  
However, their fun was soon interrupted by the voice of Lucius Malfoy.  
"Well, well, what do we have here? Potter and Black, when are you going to grow up?"  
Sirius scowled at him.  
"Shut up, Malfoy."  
"Ouh, nice comeback, _mudblood_. Now get up and along, you two, and quit horsing around. If the two of you have an absolute urgent need to grope eachother, then at least do it in private, hmm?"  
Sirius stood bolt up, and James had to grab the back of his robe to prevent him from giving Lucius two black eyes. He stared hatefully at the older boy, and through gritted teeth he muttered things that, if said loud, would have given this fic an R-rating.  
"You little-"  
Lucius smirked.  
"Now, Black, talking back to a prefect. How many points of Gryffindor would that be?"  
  
Fortunately for the two sixth years, Alexander Lovegood chose that moment to emerge from behind a portrait.  
His eyes quickly wandered across James, who was holding on to Sirius' robes for all of his life, Lucius Malfoy who was smirking like mad, and Sirius himself, who was struggling to get free of his friend's tight grip, murder in his eyes.  
"Malfoy!" he snapped. "What is going on here?"  
Lucius' head snapped up, and his lip curled with disgust at the sight of the muggleborn Hufflepuff.  
"Potter and Black were up to trouble, Lovegood. I was merely asking them to stop fooling around and move along, when Black-" his eyes glinted with evil at this point- "attacked me! I felt that it was in order to remove some points from Gryffindor, but these two went mad!"  
Craig lifted an eyebrow nonchalantly.  
"Really."  
Lucius seemed outraged now.  
"They were showing disrespect towards a prefect!"  
"Oh, get a flight of stairs and get over yourself, Malfoy."  
Sirius watched the silent war between the two seventh years with interest.  
It was fascinating, seeing how cold fury seemed to radiate from the two of them, each one directing it at the other one.  
"I'm a PREFECT!"  
"And I'm Head Boy. Do you want to continue the name game? Because in that case, I'm also-"  
Before he could say anything else, Lucius said something rude, before stalking of.  
Alexander turned towards Sirius.  
"I don't know why I even bother. Just try to get back to Gryffindor Tower without breaking any limbs- and I'm not talking about your own."  
He shot a look at Sirius.  
"Please?"  
Sirius shrugged.  
"Okay."  
"Good."  
"Good."  
Silence.  
"Get a move on, then!"  
As they walked strolled down the hallway, James turned, only to see the Head Boy climbing back into the hole he came from.  
He pricked Sirius' shoulder, and jerked his thumb backwards, indicating the portrait hole.   
"Do we know where that one lead?"  
Sirius shook his head.  
"Nope."  
James lifted his head, and looked into Sirius' eyes.  
"Tonight?"  
"Yeah."  
"The invisibility cloak?"  
"Yeah."  
"The Hufflepuff girls' showers afterwards?"  
Sirius grinned.  
"Oh yeah."


	3. Hot Competition

They didn't speak to each other at dinner.

Small warning: One of them is bi. Deal with it. No slash-scenes, though there is some very heavy undertones. Nothing worse than what goes on in my class (which, when thinking about it, deserves an 'R'-rating. Wait- NC17...oh, heck of it).  
Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter. The chapter title is from second *Ranma 1/2* pocketbook. I own nothing except the plot. 'Curious George' (y'know, the little monkey?) belongs to whoever created him.  
~~*~**  
Chapter 3: Hot Competition**  
  
True to their word, Sirius and James returned to the spot around midnight, this time accompanied by Remus and Peter. While James had been practical, taking the invisibility cloak, Remus had brought the piece of parchment that he always drew on, muttering something about map. Both Remus and Sirius had shed their robes for muggle clothes (which were much more practical in cases like this), while Peter and James were still wearing robes.  
They gathered around the painting, trying to figure out how to swing it open.  
"Are you sure you didn't notice how he got it open?" Peter said as he eyed Sirius critically.  
"I've told you three times, Peter, he came _out _of the hole!" snapped Sirius as his fingers wandered over the portrait, searching for a hidden tap or knot. "For all we know, this could be a closet."  
Remus looked up from his drawing.  
"So, what you're saying is that he came out of the closet?"  
"In one way, yes."  
"While you are trying to get into it?"  
Sirius nodded.  
"Oh, why? We don't judge people! Or do we, James?"  
James didn't answer, seeing as both he and Peter were doubled up laughing. Sirius turned, and glared at Remus.  
"Two words: Not. Funny."  
"And I've got three words for you: Prod the arithmancy book." When Sirius made no sign of doing as he was told to, Remus leaned over Peter (who wasn't exactly the tallest fellow in the bunch), and prodded one of the books in the picture.  
"That was four words," Sirius muttered as the portrait swung open.  
They climbed in, and found themselves in a dark room. What appeared to be furniture, was bathed in vague moonlight from windows Sirius for all of his life couldn't see.  
"Lumos," said James. The room was instantly illuminated by the light from his wand.  
"What is this place?" asked Peter, his voice hushed, as if in awe.  
It was a rather large room, about twice the size of the Gryffindor Common Room. It was furnished with old chairs and sofas. On the tables spread throughout the room, items like Witch Weekly magazines, lunascopes and scrolls of parchment rested. Several book-cases were placed along the walls, and the large fireplace on the south wall was decorated with carvings of dragons, unicorns, and other mythical creatures. On the other side of the room, there was another portrait hole, as some kind of hidden entrance.  
But the most impressive things of all was the ceiling.  
It was a large glass dome, and above it, Sirius could see countless stars, and, of course, the new moon.  
James wolf-whistled.  
"So this is the seventhyears' common room."  
"Wow," said Peter.  
"Yea-" Sirius had just started his reply when Remus hushed at him.  
"What?" snapped Sirius.  
"There's someone coming. James, _nox_." The light was extinguished at once.  
And he was right. Because at that moment, someone made the portrait swing open.  
  
What happened next, was all in a blur.  
Peter, being his own, practical self, transformed into his rat form, and hid quickly.  
Sirius, who was holding the invisibility cloak, quickly covered himself with it. He was soon joined by Remus.  
James quickly dived behind a chair, and then, all they could do was hold their breath and hope that they wouldn't get caught. So they waited in silence. Silence and darkness.  
Not for long though.  
A whispered spell made the candles strategically placed around the room light up, and soon the room was bathed in dim light.  
Next to the portrait hole stood Lucius Malfoy, and by the looks of it, he was helping someone climbing in.  
Sirius bit his lip as Lily Evans stepped into the room. James was not going to like this.  
"I can't believe I'm doing this," said Lily.  
Lucius chuckled.  
"Well, you are. Not chickening out, are you?" he said, a sly grin on his face.  
She smiled, and laid her hands around his neck.  
"Of course not. I'm a Gryffindor. You know, 'brave and true'."  
"As opposed to me, a vile Slytherin."   
Both of them grinned. He placed his hands on her hips, and leaned in to kiss her.   
This perfect Kodak moment was, however, by James, who emitted a sound not unlike the one Sirius' cat had made when he at age ten had carried it around by the tale.   
Lucius' head quickly jerked up, and in two quick steps he was standing next to the chair, staring down at James.  
"Potter," he sneered.  
Lily sidled up beside him, and the look on her face spelled murder when she realised that James was there, and that he probably had heard and seen everything they had said and done.   
"James Potter! Never in my life-" she started, and Sirius assumed that she was about to start one of her infamous rants. However, he never found out, seeing as his attention was pulled away from the drama building up, and over to Remus, who tapped his shoulder.  
'What'? Sirius mouthed.  
Remus jerked his head towards the still open portrait hole, which Peter in his rat form currently was climbing through.  
The two of them slowly edged along the wall, trying to be silent, so that neither Lucius or Lily would hear them. There was a few close calls, like when Sirius almost knocked over a Ming vase while they were climbing out of the room, but at last they were standing in the hallway. The portrait shut soundlessly after them, and they quickly got off the warm cloak.  
Remus leaned against the wall, and breathed out in relief. Sirius felt a sudden urge to laugh. Danger had always attracted him, which was probably why the pranks he came up with always contained a certain risk of getting caught, mauled and other elements of danger. And escaping Lucius Malfoy and an annoyed, mad Lily Evans in the middle of the night did certainly count as a health hazard of the 'danger, Will Robinson, danger'-degree. And it had been so easy!  
  
He laughed, the way only he could do it. The loud, howling laughter that scared away small firstyears, which was no wonder, seeing as he used it like a muggle madman used a gun; ready to go off at any second, and with no pattern whatsoever. Remus looked at him through bangs of bright brown hair, one of his eyebrows raised. Sirius tried to explain, but all he managed was to shake his head in a way that would, if seen at the right time, even give Minerva McGonnogall a laughing fit. However, seeing as Remus had spent very much time (probably more than what was good for him) with Sirius, all he did was smile and laugh softly.  
After a short while, Sirius finally got a hold of himself. He was about to ask Remus if they should wait and see what happened with James, but at the sound of soft cat's paws only a few metres away stopped him.  
"Shhh!" he hushed at Remus, who was still laughing.  
The young lycanthrope looked up.  
"What?" he said grumpily. Adrenaline had that effect on him.   
Sirius didn't take time to answer, just grabbed his friend and quickly hid behind a nearby hanging tapestry. Seeing as Remus was protesting and struggling against his restraint (damn werewolf-instinct), leaving Sirius with no choice but pinning him up against the wall, holding his hand over the other boy's mouth.  
"Shhh," he said once more. Remus just stared at him, venom in his gaze. But he didn't do anything, which was very fortunately, seeing as Mrs. Norris at that moment rounded the corner.  
This time, Remus spotted her too, and after shooting him an expressive look, Sirius took his hand away from his face.  
"See?" he whispered.  
Remus cursed softly.  
"We'll have to wait. Maybe she'll go away."  
Sirius nodded, and held Remus' gaze for one more, lingering, second. He blinked, and Sirius quickly looked down.  
Remus was still looking at Mrs. Norris, who was still prowling the around the corridor, now absorbed in sniffing the invisibility cloak, which Sirius in all the commotion had left on the hallway floor. Sirius suddenly became aware of how cramped the two of them were, and how hot the close space between them suddenly seemed. The memory of how he had made out with a Ravenclaw at the exactly same place only weeks ago suddenly flashed before his eyes, making him shift uneasily. Unfortunately, the wretched cat heard the ruffling of his clothes, and looked up at that exact moment. Remus head snapped up, and Sirius could feel his friend's warm breath, in and out, in sync with his chest as it heaved up and down. A lock of brown hair that had fallen from down from behind his ear, tickled Sirius' chin and nose, making him want to both sneeze and inhale the sweet smell of it at the same time.  
_Hm. Smells like honey. Never noticed that before Quite nice, actually..  
_At the moment that particular thought floated into the conscious part of his brain, Sirius blushed furiously. However, his thoughts were at that moment ripped away from everything as he registered that Mrs. Norris had jumped around and sped around the corner. Sirius quickly calculated that Filch would be there within half a minute, and realised that this time, they were really in for it.  
"Shit," he whispered. "What do we do know?"  
"As far as I can see, the only thing possible."  
"And that is?"   
"Run. Run like hell."  
~~*~~

  
Exactly how they managed to get back to the common room without getting caught, AND with the invisibility cloak intact, Sirius never could account for later. All he knew was that it was only the thought of his nice, warm bed that kept him awake as he started to climb the stairs up to his dorm.  
"Wait," said Remus, who was still standing just inside the portrait hole.  
Sirius sighed, and turned.  
"Yes, Remus?"  
"Don't you think we should wait for James?"  
"Why should we wait up when Peter didn't?"  
"Actually, he did." The lycanthrope gestured towards the other end of the room, where Peter's sleeping form was curled up in one of the chairs in front of the fire.  
"Fine, then."  
Sirius said, slumping into a chair. Sure, he was James best friend and all, but he needed his sleep. Sometimes, Remus was just too good a friend. He glanced up at the werewolf, who now, leaning on the shelf over the fireplace. The slowly dying flames illuminated his tired face, making him look like a tragic, Dickensian figure. Sirius sighed (not really sure why), and the other boy looked up, shooting him a look, that, if translated into words, would have said 'what?' in an extremely grumpy tone.   
Determined not to look at the boy who was depriving him of sleep, Sirius looked down. In lack of anything else to do, he took out the small stone figure he always carried around. As a point of distraction, it worked fairly well- Sirius knew that from experience; he had used it successfully in such classes as History of Magic, Arithmancy, and divination (call 555-IDIOCY for your own replica). And true to its reputation, it worked as a charm this time too. Soon, all his attention was directed towards the task of finding out something he had been wondering since his grandmother had given him it when he was five years old; which way was up, and which way was Sirius' favourite; down.  
"What is that thing?"  
Sirius was startled by Remus voice, and quickly stuffed the figure into his back pocket of his jeans.  
"What thing?" he asked, smiling angelic.  
"The thing you just put into your back pocket."  
Sirius set up a confused face.  
"I don't understand..."  
Remus cocked his head.  
"Don't make me come over there and molest you."  
Sirius smiled slyly as he stood up and went over to the fire.  
"Is that necessarily a bad thing? I thought you went for tall, blackhaired guys?"  
"Not necessarily guys. However, if do decide to get myself a boyfriend, I want one with ruddy good looks. And that, my friend, immediately rules you out," Remus said sarcastically. "Now, for the last time, what is that thing?"  
"That's for me to know, and you to never find out."  
Remus raised an eyebrow, and stepped out to the side, seemingly to go sit down in one of the chairs. However, as soon as Sirius let his guard down, he turned, and grabbed after the hem of Sirius' jeans. Obviously, he was trying to get a hold of the figure. Sirius, of course, reacted by turning, leaving Remus' hand to rest on his- erm- behind for the split of a second.   
Now, if the two of them hadn't been interrupted at this point, this compromising situation would immediately evolved into a relatively innocent wrestling match (well, as innocent as wrestling between two boys high on hormones and adrenaline can be), and no one would even given that brief moment a thought.  
But of course, the two of them weren't that lucky, seeing as James at that moment climbed into the common room.   
"Erm," was all he said.  
The two of them jumped apart, blushing.  
"Don't ask," said Remus.  
"Don't tell," came the reply.  
  
The three of them managed to wake up Peter (which was quite a deed, seeing as he normally could have slept through a thunderstorm, a Voldemort attack, and the apocalypse- at the same time). On their way up to their dorm, Remus asked James what happened after they left.  
"Well," started James, "Lily continued her 'little' tirade for the next fifteen minutes, stopped for as long it took her to climb out of the room, continued all the way up to McGonagall's office, where McGonagall gave me a lecture not unlike Lily's, before giving me detention." At this point, James' face fell into sombre folds.  
"Well, that's not too bad," said Peter. "Why the sad face?"  
"...On Sunday at noon."  
Sirius gasped.  
"But that's when the quidditch match is!"   
As he backed into the dorm, James threw his hands up in exasperation.  
"Don't you think I know that? I tried to tell her that I can't, that I as member of the Gryffindor team, I have to be present."  
"And?" said Remus.  
"Don't you think that Malfoy, that creep, found it included in his mission to point out the fact that the Lions weren't playing? I mean, that's beside the point! It doesn't matter if my team is playing or not, if I want the chance to become captain next year, I HAVE to know the other teams inside out."   
He started tearing his hair as he slumped down on the bed.  
"And the worst of all," he said, shooting Sirius 'a' look, "I have to serve the detention with Malfoy. I mean, if it had been Lily..." He trailed off, and got a far-away, dreamy look in her eyes.   
Remus threw the cloak on his bed, laughing. "Watch it, Jamesie, you're drooling."  
Peter smirked, and James threw the cloak at him.  
"Shut up, Wormtail."   
"Well, you have to admit, James, this obsession of yours has now lasted long enough to qualify you to the title 'Official sad bastard of the Highlanders'...mph-pho-phct," said Remus, the last part muffled because he was pulling his shirt over his head, getting ready for bed.  
Sirius nodded.  
"Couldn't have said it better myself."  
James rolled his eyes.  
"You know, I'm beginning to think Snape were right about you two after all."  
Sirius scowled.  
"Don't be absurd, Potter. I'm NOT gay. I repeat, NOT gay."  
"Oh. Then, should we simply assume that you were giving Aidan Lynch mouth-to-mouth that time in the quidditch changing rooms, then?"  
"That was different, we were just experimenting. I'm a curious person," Sirius replied, utterly indignant.  
"The wacky adventures of curious Sirius," laughed Peter. "Good idea for a book! We'll have to change the names, of course, but if everything go as planned, we'll be rich!"  
"There already is a book like that," said Remus. "It's called 'George, the curious monkey'."  
Sirius sat bolt up.  
"Hey! That's no fair, two against one! James, help me out here, will you?"  
But James didn't answer. He was already fast asleep in his bed, lost in dreams that involved Lily, whipped cream, and maple syrup.  
  
_A/N: Wow, that was quite a long chapter, don't you think? Chapter 4 is coming along quite well, and will be kind of long too. I want to thank everyone who reviewed, especially Nayru, who both beta read and put up with my wild ideas (don't worry 'bout Rem, girlie- the poor dear will not be involved in any threesomes, I promise).  
As always, please review! :)_


	4. Let's hear it for the Boy

They didn't speak to each other at dinner. 

A/N: God, it's the fourth chapter! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you're the best! This chapter is dedicated to my good friend Me_160286, who hates slash, and is going to hate me too when he finds out about this. ;)  
Small warning: One of them is bi. Deal with it. No slash-scenes.  
Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter. The chapter title is from a song which I don't own.  
~~*~**  
Chapter 4: Let's Hear it For The Boy  
  
**When Sirius came down to the Great Hall the next day, only James and some thirdyears were still eating.  
"Morning," gruffed Sirius.  
"And a lovely morning to you, too. Why so sour?"  
He scowled back. "It's too early to talk. Now- be quiet, and eat breakfast like a good boy."  
James glanced at his watch, and smirked.  
"Sirius- you do know that this is lunch?"  
"Shut up."  
  
They finished lunch (or, in Sirius' case, breakfast) in silence.  
"So, where's Peter and Moony?" said Sirius as the two of them left the Great Hall.  
"Peter went to the hospital wing. Apparantly, Sarea-"  
"Sarea?"  
"Sarea King, that Hufflepuff. You know, his divination partner. Anyway, she fell down the ladder when she left Trelawney's tower on thursday. Apparantly, she's supposed to get out today, so Peter went up to the hospital wing, claiming that he was going to walk her down to Hufflepuff, so that she won't fall again." James rolled his eyes. Peter fell in and out of love more often than others changed socks, and Sarea was his last object of affection.  
"And Moony?"  
"He told me he was going to help Lulu find a muggle-book on arithmancy in the library."  
"Ah, lil' Lulu needs help? Away, thou foe, here comes Super-Sirius! Ready to turn that frown up-side-down!"   
"If she ever heard you say that, she'd give you a black eye. Remember last time?"  
Sirius rubbed his jaw, which, at the memory only, went numb.  
"How could I forget? Funny how two siblings can be THAT different. I mean, on one hand, you have Remus; a nice, intellectual guy. And then, there's Lulu; a violent maniac, who somehow ended up not only with a position on the quidditch team, but also the only one that requires a club."  
"1: There are two beater positions, and 2; It's a bat, not a club."  
"The way she uses it, she could have fooled me. Speaking of quidditch, don't you have practice today?"  
"Later. So- got any plans for this lovely, rainy day?"  
Sirius laughed.  
"Do you really want to-"  
"Gentlemen, don't we have anything better to do with our time, than hanging around the Entrance Hall?"  
The two of them turned, and was met by the sight of a grumpy-looking Lucius Malfoy.  
"Actually, yes."  
"Then get going," the Slytherin said, and turned.  
"We will. Just answer me on this first; Do you have anything better to do with your time than seducing innocent Gryffindors?" mocked Sirius.   
Malfoy's ears went an interesting shade of red as he turned slowly, once more facing them."  
"Get out."  
"Wh-" started Sirius.  
"Get out!"  
~~*~~  
  
"Anyone looking?"   
"Nope."  
The two of them had stopped about halfway around the lake, and James was keeping watch while Sirius was lighting his cigarette, ready for his daily dose of nicotin.  
"Those things are bad for your health, you know," said James.  
Sirius rolled his eyes.   
"No, really? And here I was, thinking that they would prolong my life." He took a deep breath, allowing the smoke to reach the very dephts of his lounges. "Besides, I think of it like this; the long walks I have to take to get here, makes up for the 'damaging effect on my health'."  
Smugly, he blew a ring of smoke, which James quickly punctured with his finger.  
"Don't let it die a virgin," he said.  
"Like Myrtle, you mean?"  
James shuddered.  
"Don't even remind me of her. I mean, of all the guys at this school, why does she have to torture me?"  
"Torture?" Sirius smirked. "You don't like having her wooing you?"  
"Sirius, she stalks me! I mean, I bloody caught her playing 'peeping-tom' while I was taking a bath!"  
"Tell Dumbledore, he'll get her back to her bathroom."  
"Of course- 'hey, Dumblster, I caught one of the female ghosts stalking while taking a midnight bath in the prefect's bathroom, can you please put her back in the girls' toilet'. That will be the day I -AH! Get off, get off!"  
Sirius snickered as James hopped around, trying to get the orange ball of fur that had clawed itself into the back of his neck off.   
"Are you just going to stand there?" yelled James.  
Sirius took a last breath of his cigarette, before throwing it into the bushes.  
"Just stand still, Jamesie," he said. James did as he was told, making faces.  
"Oh, come on, it doesn't hurt that much," Sirius said as he gently removed the furball, also known as his cat, Chaos, from James neck. "There, he's off."  
James turned, rubbing his sore neck.   
"Damn monstercat. I can't see why you keep that freaky thing, anyway," James sulked, sending Chaos a dirty look. Chaos scowled back, and went off chasing a gnome.  
  
'Monstercat', was a very fitting description of Chaos. Even though it was just a mere year old, it was already monstreously big, and with furiously bowed legs. Its previous owner had been a kneazle-breeder, who one day had the excellent idea of making a Kneazle-Tabbycat-crossover. The results had been good; seven of the eight kittens had turned out as small, tabby cats with tails like lions. The last one became a fluffy-furred thing with a bottlebrush tail, and a terrible temper. And of course, when Sirius' mother had brought her son to pick out a cat when his old one died, Sirius had chose that one.  
  
"You're not very fond of cats, are you, James?" said Sirius as they walked back.  
James shrugged.  
"What can I say, I just don't like them. As they say, some people are kneazle-persons, others are crup-people."  
Sirius looked at his friend.  
"Crup-people?"  
"You know, crups." Seeing the confused look on his friends face, he continued. "They're like small terriers. All the high-society ladies in the wizarding world have one."  
"Ah, I can see why know about them, then. Your mother made you walk hers, right?"  
James mumbled something.  
"I'm sorry, Jamesie, I didn't quite catch that. Come again?"  
"...Yes."  
"I knew it!" Sirius said triumphantly. "Admit it, I was right!"  
"Yeah- yeah, you were right- as usual, oh mighty oracle of Sirius. After all, who needs Trelawney, when they have you?" mocked James.  
"Who needs Trelawney at all?" said Sirius as they stopped in front of the entrance gate to the courtyard. "Well, this is my stop."  
"Not coming over to watch practise? I am so disappointed...NOT."  
"As much as I would like to watch you oh so manly men performing the most honourable art of Quidditch, I have to go find Remus. Ol' boy promised to help me with my Arithmancy."  
"Ah, I see. The two of you are going to do some male bonding over the books, eh?" James said, winking in a way that Sirius did not like at all.  
"Were you always this bizarre, or is that a newly aqcuired skill of yours? Because there is one thing I can tell about you; you are definetly not queer as them folks."  
"Which folks? You and Aidan Lynch?"  
Sirius stuck his tongue out.  
James responded by rolling his eyes.  
"Well, that's mature." He glanced at his watch. "Anyway, I have to go now. See you at dinner?"  
"Make that supper, I have some letters to write, too."  
"See you, then!"  
~~*~~  
  
Remembering what James had sad earlier, Sirius went directly to the library. Upon arrival, he couldn't see Remus at once, thereby having to move further in between shelves, desks and books. It wasn't that he didn't like the library- it was just that the library didn't like him. Or, in plain english; he had a tendency to trip, fall, or open books that liked to scream. And of course, being the stiffnecked, 'rod-up-her-butt'ish librarian she was, madame Pince didn't like this, and ergo, she didn't like Sirius either. Fortunately enough, Sirius soon caught sight of Remus' brown-haired head on the other side of a bookshelf. From what Sirius could see, he was walking next to someone, towards the entrance.  
"-oh, it was nothing, just glad to help," he heard his friend say.  
Sirius rolled his eyes. Ever polite, that was Remus. Even towards his own sister, who had manners like a viking, he acted like a gentleman.  
"You too humble, Rem. I don't think I would have gotten it if you hadn't eplained!" answered a girl's voice.  
Sirius blinked. That wasn't Lulu's voice! In fact, it wasn't the voice of any girl Sirius knew (and trust me, he knew most of the girls at Hogwarts better than their own mothers did).  
As the pair walked out in the open landscape that was the rows of desks in front of the entrance, Sirius ducked behind a chair. Even though he only could see her back, he estimated that the girl was about fourteen, but he couldn't for his bare life think of any fourthyears he knew about who had long, black hair like that.  
The two of them stopped in front of Madam Pince's desk. As the librarian checked in the girl's books, 'black beasty' as Sirius had nicknamed her in his mind, repeated how lost she had been without Remus' help.  
"Oh come on!" chuckled Remus. "It's not that hard. If I didn't knew better, I would think you are flattering me, miss Thickey."   
The girl turned, and smiled warmly. Sirius still didn't recognise her, but she did look familiar.  
"No, really- thanks. I'm practically a squib when it comes to Transfiguration, and unfortunately enough, 'aunt Minna' doesn't favour neither relatives nor Gryffindors."  
"Aunt Minna? I have to remember that one. But listen, I have to go now, I told my friend Monica I would meet her in the Entrance Hall- but I guess I'll see you around?"  
"Yeah."  
"Yeah...so, see you, then."  
She smiled, and kissed him on the cheek.  
"Already looking forward to it."  
And with that, she left the library, leaving Remus with a faraway look. For a moment, he just stood there, before he ran after her. Sirius could just only make out the words as his friend asked the girl if he could walk her down to the entrance.  
~~*~~  
  
_Dear Mum  
I'm sorry I haven't written to you in ages, but I've been busy settling for the new term.  
I hope you are alright, and that your treatment is working.  
Everything's as usual here at Hogwarts- professor Dumbledore is enigmatic as always, the Slytherins keeps on making trouble, and Trelawney keeps on bitc- sorry, babbling, about Remus' impending death and doom.  
My classes are going great, and guess what? I got a 99 % on my first Transfiguration test this term.   
  
Okay, so it was just a 79%, but it's not my fault- Remus kept whining about that vampire book, interview or something, while I was trying to study. And well- having a neurotic werewolf hanging over your neck, whining about how he wished he had fangs instead of fur, is not good for your concentration. But I'll do better next time, I swear!  
James isn't really helping- he's too busy wooind Lily Evans nowadays. If it was someone else, I'd probably just tell them to give it up, seeing as she's dating that pri-, I mean, annoying Lucius Malfoy. But if Prongs sees something in her, she has to be special. Or as Remus keeps on saying: 'There has to be some reason for this obsession, right?'. And then, he usually adds 'Please say there is', with a desperate look in his eyes. And yes, he is still single, and no, I don't think he'd be interested in marrying an old hag like you. ;)  
  
But Mum, I really don't have time to write any more, seeing as supper's in five minutes, and I'm starving.  
Love,   
Sirius  
  
_He had just finished with a flourish when the dormitory door opened, and a ruffled Remus entered. Sirius laid down his quill, and watched the other boy going through the chest at the end of his four-poster.  
"Looking for something, Moony ol' pal?"  
Remus didn't turn or make any response, but from the way his back muscles tensed up, Sirius could see that he was startled.  
"Nothing, nothing, just a shirt."  
He turned, and Sirius couldn't help but snort as he saw a large heart-shaped stain on Remus' muggle t-shirt.  
"In love, Moony?"  
"Yeah, as if. Actually, I wasn't happy with the colour, so I tried to transfigure it red. Obviously, it didn't work." He sighed. "In my book, transfiguration and clothing doesn't mix."  
"Obviously," said Sirius, turning back to the letter, quickly adding a PS about a certain werewolf whose transfiguring skills were...wait a minute- Remus' knew perfectly well how to transfigure clothes. As a matter of fact, he had transfigured Snape's entire robe into a corset, as a payback for him getting James' landed in the hospital wing.   
Sirius turned, ready to point this out to Remus, but was stopped by the sight that met him.  
Remus was standing next to the open trunk, his robes in his hands as he tried to straighten out some of the wrinkles. He was barechested, his T-shirt lying in heap on the floor. The white halfmoon-mark on his neck looked particulary nasty at this time of month. However, what really caught Sirius attention, was a large cut running across his left under-arm. It looked very recent, and was almost just a gash that wasn't healed yet.  
"When did you get that one?"  
Remus looked up.  
"Get what?"  
Sirius ran his index finger across his chest, indicating the wound. Remus looked down.  
"Oh, that wound. It's nothing, really, cut myself on the Womping Willow yesterday."  
Sirius furrowed his eyebrows.  
"The Willow? What were you doing over there?"  
Remus shrugged. "I was going to the Shack."  
"Why?"  
"Because I forgot my ..erm.." he searched for the word, making gestures in the air "..eh..what's it called again?"  
"Coat? Robe? Spankypants?"  
"Scarf!" Remus said triumphantly.  
Sirius nodded, "Ah, I see," and added a PS about forgetfull friends.  
Remus, who now was sitting down on his bed, craned his neck at the sound of the scribbling quill.  
"Letter, Padfoot?"  
Sirius nodded. "To my mother."  
His friend smiled sadly. "How is she?"  
"By and by, I guess. The treatment's going well," he lied.  
"Send her my love, then."  
"I will." Sirius glanced up. "So- James told me you've spend the day helping Lulu with her homework."  
"Nah...she didn't come, as usual, so I just got some studying done."  
Sirius looked at him.   
_Liar.  
_"So, nothing else, then?"  
Remus thought about it for a second, then shook his head.  
"Nah, just some transfiguration. You didn't come looking for me, did you? Because I was rather hidden among all those books."  
Sirius shook his head, and before he knew it, he was lying again. "No, no, not at all."  
Remus smiled. "So, you coming down for supper?"  
Sirius nodded, but as he followed Remus downstairs, he couldn't help but wonder exactly what it was that had made him lie.  
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